¹ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), ³ so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. ⁴ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. ⁵ Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ; ⁶ not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. ⁷ With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, ⁸ knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free. ⁹ And masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.

We are entering the final chapter in my preaching series on the Book of Ephesians, perhaps the most profound of the prison letters written by Paul in his final years on earth. Last month I spoke about “Love and Respect” in marriage – that marriage is the foundation of the family, which is the foundation of any healthy society.

Today’s message continues Paul’s teaching on core relationships in life. The first part of chapter six is really a continuation of the end of chapter five.

THREE RELATIONSHIPS – EARTHLY AND HEAVENLY. In these two passages from chapters 5 and 6, Paul addresses three relationships that are critically important, when understood in context. Each of these three earthly relationships has their heavenly antitype, or higher fulfillment, in our relationship with God. We can see this clearly in these two passages. So Paul’s writing has both a practical human or social application and a higher spiritual application in our relationship with God. And the latter, heavenly relationship provides both the model and grace-empowerment to live out the human relationships in a beautiful, life-affirming way.

These three relationships are between husbands and wives, between children and parents, and between slaves and their masters. Their heavenly antitypes are, respectively, the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church, between our Heavenly Father and us, and finally, our loving submission to God as His bondservants forever.

In chapter 5:31-32, Paul quotes the end of Genesis 2 about marriage and connects it with Christ’s relationship with the Church: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.” From this passage and Revelation 19, we learn that believers are the bride of Christ.

We are also God’s children who owe Him our obedience; and Jesus emphasized God as a Heavenly Father. Next to the love between a husband and wife, the parent-child relationship is the strongest bond of love known to man. Look at Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…” The highest motive for children obeying their parents comes from being in the Lord. If children wish to please God as Father, they have to demonstrate it in their relationship with their earthly parents.

Third, we are also bondservants or slaves of God. Slaves are urged to obey their masters “as to Christ” – that is, as if Christ were their earthly master – and “as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.” 

The Apostles Peter, Paul, James, Jude and John all referred to themselves as bondservants or slaves of Christ. The Bible says, “You were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.” If God redeemed us with Christ’s blood, then he owns us; and we are bound to him as a slave is to his master.

This term “bondservant” recalls a passage in Exodus 21 on how Israelites were commanded to release a Hebrew slave whom they purchased on the seventh year: “But if the slave plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife and my children; I will not go out as a free man,’ then his master shall bring him to God, then he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him permanently.”

You see that there is a relationship of endearment in this kind of slavery that reflected the pastoral way of life of most Israelites over 3,400 years ago. This was not the violent, demeaning bondage to which many Roman and American slaves were subjected to on large plantations. No, it was a relationship built on respect that sometimes turned to love. Our relationship to God is especially one of endearment; for God is the all-Wise Master who only commands us for our ultimate and eternal good.

HONOR YOUR PARENTS. Now let us return to the relationship between children and parents. Paul says “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.” It may not feel right to obey, especially if the parent is angry, demeaning, or unreasonable; but children must learn obedience if they are to survive and succeed in a tough, uncaring world. That was especially true in ancient times when most people lived on the edge of subsistence. It’s right also because society cannot function properly when parents don’t have authority over their children. The only time a child should explicitly disobey a parent is when that parent is being immoral, criminal or out of control. No child should have to submit to physical or sexual abuse.

As adults we don’t owe our parents obedience any longer; we are responsible for our own lives. But we do owe them honor. And Paul goes back to the Law of Moses and cites the fifth commandment to “Honor your father and mother”. That command, we should note, is the first one that does not pertain directly to God; it is by order, next in importance to revering God.

God put the command to honor your father and mother before the command to not murder, commit adultery, steal or bear false witness. Violating these commands attacks the bonds of society, but honoring our parents strengthens the very foundation of society.

Paul also observes that it is “the first command with a promise, ‘so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.’ There is an uncanny connection between honoring one’s parents and having a long life. Why is that? Scripture gives several reasons.

First, honoring your parents involves heeding their positive admonitions. They have far more life experience than children, especially in dealing with adults who can potentially benefit or harm a young person. In Proverbs 1:8-9. King Solomon wrote: “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck.” In Chapter 2:1-9, Solomon returns to this admonition:

¹ “My son, if you will receive my words
And treasure my commandments within you,
² Make your ear attentive to wisdom,
Incline your heart to understanding;
³ For if you cry for discernment,
Lift your voice for understanding;
⁴ If you seek her as silver
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
⁵ Then you will discern the fear of the Lord
And discover the knowledge of God.
⁶ For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
⁷ He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
⁸ Guarding the paths of justice,
And He preserves the way of His godly ones.”

A young man who honors his parents is far more likely to relate well with other people in authority who can help them succeed in life. A happy and prosperous man generally lives longer than a rebellious and poor man.

Honoring parents will help a young person avoid the pitfalls of youth that can lead to crime, addictions, disease and death. Good parents deeply desire their children to be successful and avoid the failures that have caused them pain. If you read the book of Proverbs, it is addressed by wise King Solomon to his son. His first admonition is:” The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” When children learn to revere their parents, and to fear the rod when they’re blatantly disobedient or disrespectful, they are intuitively learning the fear of the Lord which is the greatest of all life lessons. The fear of the Lord and a healthy fear of a loving parent are life-preserving character traits. Both God and caring parents are more aware of the dangers that can befall children; and God employs parents to teach children to avoid reckless behavior that can injury or death. Proverbs warns against:

• Associating with violent, dishonest, and criminal people.
• Disastrous life choices.
• Adultery and the rage it can produce in another man
• Indebtedness and bankruptcy
• Violent quarrels and strife
• Poverty through laziness
• Dishonest and wicked behavior

These protections come from heeding the counsel of caring parents. Proverbs 30:17 warns, “The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.” God withdraws His grace and protection from those who dishonor their parents, and Satan’s host lure their charges to destruction.

There are also positive benefits to honoring one’s father and mother. First, when you honor your parents, you are honoring God. You then find:

• Favor with God, and divine protection from harm.
• Wisdom – the ability to make right choices and act upon them – comes more naturally to you.
• True knowledge – the ability to see life from God’s perspective, and ultimately find salvation in Christ.
• Life and health.
• More success in marriage and love, which has a proven psychological and health benefit to those who stay together.
• Favor with good people in society, who can open doors for you to succeed.
• Greater respect and generosity toward others which brings the reward of others’ generosity and kindness back to you.
• Better self-management and success on the job or in business.

Honoring one’s parents doesn’t guarantee all these things, but it is foundational to all of them. Obedience is the first duty of a young person that demonstrates fidelity to the covenant that is at the heart of knowing God and His kingdom. In Luke 6:46, Jesus asks, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord’ and do not do what I say?” If we don’t obey Jesus, then He really isn’t Lord of our life. In John 8:31-32, Jesus gives the positive affirmation of obedience, “He who has my commands and keeps them, he is truly my disciple. And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”

Paul then answers this command by admonishing fathers not to provoke their children to anger – that is, by being unduly harsh or unreasonable in their demands. In Roman times, a father could beat a child to death and not suffer any legal repercussions. It is sad to hear about fathers who take out their anger and frustration on their wives or children as petty tyrants. Persistent harshness or condemnation eventually breeds rebellion in a son. If their father thinks they’re no good, they tend to live down to their expectation. Why should they bother doing right?

Some of you may have grown up either with an abusive or absent father, and so never had a caring male presence in your home to help you grow up into a wise citizen. It’s too late to recover your lost childhood; but you can remember the past redemptively by trusting God to use the pain of your youth to bring you to Himself and turn you into the man you’ve always wanted to be. God says to you, “I will redeem the years that the locusts have eaten”. He will turn the very things that have wounded your spirit the most into a deep inner strength that reveals the manly character of Christ, brings glory to God and accumulates eternal rewards for you.

If you are a father, work on fashioning a balanced, Christlike character that your children can profit from imitating. There is no excuse for being a poor parent. Having Christlike character will make you a better father and a role model to your children.

Now is the time to learn everything you can about parenting your children wisely and well. There are lots of great books on effective parenting to read; but the Bible is the best book, because it will equip you to be the man of God your child desperately needs to see. They need you to model God’s love in affection, boundary setting and appropriate discipline, but also in relating rightly to God in faith, prayer and good works; and the Bible gives insight into all of these. Jesus Christ really can make you into a good man and good father, if you will connect yourself intimately to him and submit to His Lordship in every area of life.

HONOR YOUR EMPLOYER. Then Paul shifts to discussing perhaps the most difficult relationship of his time, between slaves and their masters. In early American history, slaveholders used scriptures like this to justify slavery as a divinely sanctioned and, therefore, permanent institution. Remember, this letter was written by the apostle when he was a prisoner of the Roman Empire which was the dominant power in that region of the earth and had built its empire on cunning and conquest. Wealthy Roman patricians, governors and generals employed slaves as wealthy plantation owners did in America, to enrich themselves and to enjoy the pleasures of wealth through the unpaid labor of others.

Slavery was an accepted practice throughout the ancient world, and Paul was dealing matter-of-factly with what he knew was a difficult reality that many people living in the Empire lived with, especially around Rome, which was the seat of power and wealth in the Empire.

We must understand Scripture in its original social and historical context and then draw principles which we can apply to our lives today. We are not called to slavery, as Paul made clear in Galatians 5:1, “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” So in the modern context we should apply this passage to the relationship between employee and employer.

Paul admonished slaves to be obedient “with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ”. This doesn’t apply so literally in the modern world, but we should honor and respect our bosses, and serve them as if we were serving Jesus directly, because in a real spiritual sense, we are. Paul challenges us as employees to serve not as men-pleasers who only wish to look good, but to “do the will of God from the heart”, by doing our work with excellence.

When you do consistently good work, you are proving Jesus’ command to: “Let your light shine before men that they may see your good works, and glorify Your Father who is in Heaven.” God does everything to perfection, so excellence in service is an emblem of His presence in your life. It is a good testimony of the genuineness of your Christian faith, whereas Christian employees who take advantage of their Christian employer’s gracious nature by being cutting corners or stealing time bring a bad testimony upon themselves and Christ.

The humiliation of being held accountable and constantly corrected in small things by C.O.s can actually help you succeed in the real world, because life demands qualities that most criminals lack: respect for Authority, Commitment, Accountability, Responsibility and Discipline. The first letters of those five attributes: Authority, Commitment, Accountability, Responsibility and Discipline spell A CARD – and they give you “A CARD for your future success.”

Paul sums up his exhortation: “With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free.”

Even a slave, Paul says, can receive rewards from the Lord by conducting himself with excellence as a servant. History shows that slaves were influential in spreading the gospel to others, including their masters, who in turn had influence with others of higher social standing.

Paul then responds to his teaching by exhorting masters to “do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.”

If you become a supervisor, team leader, or employer, then lead by example and with a good attitude. Nice guys really can be successful, if they set the example and hold their employees to a high standard.

Conclusion. Men, if you take Paul’s teachings to heart and strive to be good husbands, fathers and sons, and good employees who act out of a sincere heart and rendering good service, your life will be on an upward track toward real success. You will gain favor with God and man. Proverbs 4:18 says, “The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, shining brighter until the full day.”

That path begins when you choose to make Jesus your Lord and Savior and to follow Him in living a righteous, godly life. There is no better life worth living. Even though the world may offer you the temporary pleasures of sin, these always end up costing you broken relationships, your peace of mind and a loss of self-respect. “The wages of sin are death” and that’s too high a price to pay both now and, even worse, in eternity in hell.

But through faith in Christ, you can be forgiven of your sins and restored into a right relationship with God, and usually with others, too. Paul addresses us as he did the Corinthians: “And working together with Him, we urge you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For He says, ‘At the acceptable time I listened to you, and on the day of salvation, I helped you. Behold, now is the acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.”

Will you yield your heart completely to Him today? If you have not yet received Christ as Lord, now is the acceptable time, yes, now is the day of salvation. If you have strayed from the Lord in your heart, or backslidden in your behavior, now is the time to turn back to him with your whole heart. God is ever merciful and easily entreated by those who turn to Him from their sins. Will you turn to Him today?

Let us pray.